Childhood Tings

From the very beginning, fashion has had a very special place in my heart. Growing up, clothing and me had a very interesting relationship with one another. I was the girl who had the body that always made her look much older than she actually was – I guess I can thank my Arab genes for that. Due to my curvy body type, my mom always preferred that I dress in what could only be described as skaterboi chic. Which in reality isn’t really chic. I was the girl who grew up as one of the guys – baggy jeans, graphic long sleeve, kicks and all. I never really minded it because it was just so much easier for me to dress like that rather than finding something in the girls section that fit me nicely.

Eventually, I had gone into a phase where I refused to wear anything that my mom had picked. This is where my relationship with clothing gets real interesting. All of a sudden, I became in a hurry to grow up and be seen as a girl. Which was a complete 180 from how I’ve been dressing for so long. I got into colors and patterns and dresses and makeup. Don’t even get me started on the makeup *visibly cringing*. 

Anyways, my mom, being the awesome mom that she is, gave me complete freedom as long as I had my Somali bum – as her and my aunt liked to call it – covered. As, a 10-year old girl it was absolutely AWESOME!! Until, I would leave my room dressed in an outfit that I had deemed 100% runway ready and my mom would disagree. She jokingly had labeled my Fashion style as Christmas Tree Fashion. Looking back now, I don’t disagree. I would wear so many different patterns in so many different colors all within one outfit. It was like a rainbow and toddler had a baby. 

Beginning of Teenagehood

Now fast forward a couple of years and puberty finally hit me. Everything was changing. From my body to my interests. Clothing became my escape from all the confusing things that were happening. I began experimenting. From a wannabe goth/emo to preppy school girl. Of course in a modest way.

Eyeliner became my best friend. It was my go-to makeup tool that frankly my actual best friend greatly disliked. You see my best friend is a makeup fanatic and always has my best interest at heart. So, when she was telling me that my look wasn’t emo or goth, I believed her. Eventually, I grew out of my emo/ goth phase.

I then became very into trends. I went from finding simple ways to add a little oomph to my school uniform by adding statement necklaces and funky rings to adding a cute top that added a little bit of color to my all-black uniforms.

Current Me

Learning to find a balance between my religion and fitting in has been quite a struggle. Being a hijabi alone attracts enough attention without adding the fact that I don’t wear pants or revealing clothing. Despite the struggle, I wouldn’t change my journey one bit. Because I have grown and matured through it. Not only that, but because of my relationship with clothing, I have tried many different styles – like minimalist fashion.

Even though it is a lot harder for me to find cute and modest clothing that are affordable and insta worthy, it has only made me much more determined to find clothing that fit those categories. This struggle of mine is the main reason that I had started this blog in the first place. I want to help women and girls who are struggling with the same thing. I want to help show my fellow Muslim Queens that they don’t have to sacrifice their religion just to be fashionable because it is possible to be both modest and fashionable.

XOXO AYAH